Pari continues to talk…
Amma beat my face
Amma quickly stopped being angry and hugged me. I was crying and crying.
Periamma was standing there: Poor child! You’ve made her leave her sister and brother behind and come with you. She wants to play. Can you play with her as she wants? Can you tell her stories? Picking her up and leaving, just like that!
Amma squeezed her eyes tight and was breathing noisily. I looked at her face. Water is coming out of her nose, her face is red. I touched her cheek, it’s wet.
Amma?
She was crying: I’m sorry I hit you, so sorry. Your Daddy is making it difficult for me to be myself. If I didn’t have him in my life, I would be a better mother. I’m so sorry. Daddy says bad things about me, that doesn’t mean I am bad… so sorry…
I was not feeling so sad any more. Little tears were coming from my eyes
Suddenly, Amma got up. She rushed to a door, I also wanted to see where she was going. The door opened and inside there was a basin and a potty, like in my house
What happened? Susu is coming?
And Amma turned back laughing and nodded, yes.
Okay, then you go
Periamma came running from the kitchen, she was pushing her pallu inside her saree: Shh! You should not ask such questions! Don’t you know that yet? You’re so big!
I don’t know why Periamma is being angry
Everyone is being angry only sometimes
Periamma kept a stool in front of the sofa and put a bowl of cut apple on it.
In her house there is a sofa, means there are red flowers and the sofa is golden. I got up and stood against the backrest of the sofa to look outside. The sky is black, some stars are there. Can Didi see the same stars that I am seeing? And when Bhaiyya looks out from his side window, he sees the same stars or what? The moon is yellow colour. Means the sun colour is coming on the moon. Means somewhere in the sky, the sun is there. So I was looking out, leaning out to see where the sun was but I couldn’t see the sun anywhere.
Then suddenly I remembered the ghost in the building. I told you, na? That building that is only half and someone said there are ghosts. If they see me? Then? I jerked back in the sofa and sat. The bowl of chopped apples, actually I didn’t see, it fell down
Periamma came from the kitchen
Periamma: Tchh! I kept the apple for you to eat, na?
I didn’t knowed. My leg kicked… by mistake
Periamma sat down and she was picking up the pieces, I also got down from the sofa and I was eating, from the ground. It was nice only
Periamma: Arre, don’t eat from the ground, you stop helping me.
But it’s nice only
Periamma: Sit up!
But I wanted to pick up so I kept on pickuping… picking up… then the bathroom door opened and Amma came out. She saw.
Amma: Oho, sorry, sorry. I should have fed her but urgently I had to go to the bathroom. I’ll take care, you go…
Periamma didn’t say anything, she banged the bowl on the stool and two pieces of apple jumped out of the bowl. Amma and I started laughing.
Periamma saw us and she tossed her head, like that
Amma took the apple pieces and went to the kitchen to wash them. Then she came back
I don’t want apple
Amma: She’s cut it, just have two pieces, I’ll eat the rest.
So Amma gave me one one piece in each hand, then she made me sit next to her.
Amma? What happened? Why Periamma became angry? Because of me?
Amma: No, kondhe, she has to cook
Then tell her not to make, I don’t want food
Amma: But I am hungry, I want food
Eat apple, then she won’t be angry any more
Amma just smiled and looked up: See the sky, the…
There’s ghost in that building
Amma frowned her forehead: What ghost? Who’s telling you all this?
That time when I went up
Amma: It’s an under construction building, they stopped work halfway through the second floor. It’s called ghost building that doesn’t mean there are ghosts
NOOO! There are ghosts! If they know I’m here, they’ll come to eat me up, na?
Amma: Ohh! No! Not a chance of that! I’ve met them, they are friendly.
WHAT IS THIS, AMMA! That time when I was going up someone said that the ghost eats small children.
Amma: Right, if you go to their building and disturb, they’ll eat you up but if you are sitting in your house eating apple quietly, they won’t even come to smell you. Arre, the apple is over! Liked it?
Huh?
I looked at my hands, there were two pieces of apple, one in each and in the bowl, all the apple was gone. But I didn’t eat only.
Then? Where all the apple went? Haan? Amma? Ghost came and ate?
Amma was laughing: NO! I fed you while you were busy talking
I was trying to remember, Amma fed? Haan? Really?
That’s when the doorbell rang…
Amma became different
She became scared: Shh! You don’t go to see who came! Stay quiet
Again, the doorbell rang
If you’re wondering about the choice of picture, put yourself in the shoes of the mother. Go through her turmoil, her rage, her struggle for happiness, her stress and most of all, her fear. She’s supposed to be recovering from a prolonged period of illness, physical and mental
In the face of continuing rage, it’s necessary to take a stand. She’s trying, as you can see. It’s taking a toll on her. She wants to be a happy, engaged parent but…
My book of short stories, The Violent Potter, is available on Amazon. The book is intended for an audience of parents, teachers and grandparents of young children
Link: http://tinyurl.com/466tvf5f
Each story highlights the gap between adult expectations and child perspective. The book is in two parts, Part 1 sees the impact of the gap while Part 2 sees what happens when someone fills the gap with loving perspective.
And… I vlog too, here:
https://www.youtube.com/@violentpotter/playlists