Today, na, my cousin sisters are coming to my house.
I love when they come. I’ll take them downstairs and we can play… I’ll show them rabbit. Actually, I can’t tell anyone. My rabbit is secret. No one knows. They’ll tell Daddy, then gone. I won’t show… I’ll show them that cat, cat is not my friend or anything. Just chupke se I won’t tell my real friend or anything. But now sun is so much. The sky is full yellow, there, far away, sky is blue
We can do swing and see-saw also… so much fun will come! But Amma should let me go na!
TRRIINGG!
They came!
I ran from my room to the front room. Amma already opened the door also. She is hugging Mami. Mami is crying.
She is my Amma ka sister. Not real sister. Mama is my Amma ka brother. He is real brother.
Mama also came inside.
Mama didn’t carry me over his head like always. I ran to make him carry me…
Mama carry me like that na, one time, please, only one time?
But Mama didn’t look at me, he went and sat near Daddy’s legs.
Daddy: Kondhe, you go! Go to your room!
Then Amma closed the door.
Raji? Vijoo? They didn’t came? Why? I wanted to play with them! I wanted to go down and play
Amma: Kondhe! Be quiet!
BUT I WANTED TO PLAY!
Why Mama didn’t carry me?!?
Daddy made angry face
Daddy: GO! Only thinks of playing all the time! How dare you talk like that? Out! Out of the room…
Why Raji Vijoo didn’t came??
Daddy: STOP CRYING!!
Daddy got up from the sofa, he made his hand like that. Like boxing. I became scared. But still crying was coming
Mama: No, no, don’t hit the child. What does she know? You… you please sit down…
Mami: You wait! I’ll explain
Daddy: NO NEED.
Mami came and sat on the ground. In front of me. She catched my shoulder.
Mami: Kondhe, they have fever…
Oh, fever…
Mami: yes. Big fever. When they are alright they will come. Then you can all play. See? If we explain nicely, children listen
Daddy: Sure, sure! YOU! Go to your room
I went. I wanted to cry more
I sat in my inside room, means where I sleep with Bhaiyya and Didi. I cried. Didi was not there.
No one came to give me any pyaar.
Amma also never came
My dolly is there. Mama only bought for me, you know? Actually Mama bought a big dolly for Raji. My dolly is small. I wanted that big dolly…
The door closed… DHADAM.
Appa closes hard.
Means Appa is angry.
Mama and Mami went? No bye-bye
I ran to the front room
Daddy is looking at one paper
Amma is standing in the kitchen, she is not saying bye-bye from the window also
I went to say bye-bye from the verandah
Mama and Mami are walking, they didn’t look back also
I wanted to shout MAMA!
Daddy came in the verandah: Don’t call them!
Daddy bended down and put one finger in my face
Daddy: ONE MORE TIME! One more time you cry about the food your Amma makes… GO HUNGRY!! Here I am trying EVERYTHING to make sure my children are fed! In OTHER people’s house, No ONE will work! But they can cry! Easy! Cry!
Daddy’s face is so angry.
I got scared
My susu also wants to come now only
I can’t tell Daddy
I’ll tell Amma
Amma is looking scaredly
.
.
.
I can’t tell Amma also
Amma: She has to GO, let her go.
So I ran to the bathroom
My book of short stories , The Violent Potter, is about how children feel within a family ‘system’ and how love works, sometimes outside the system. It’s available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.
Link to buy: https://www.amazon.in/dp/9390266688/ref=cm_sw_r_wa_apa_fabc_KECBKJ6HSKZ6QR5F331W