The sun was shining but the sky was blue only. I looked out as I walked along the corridor with so many other children, everyone talking, laughing. I’m alone.
I walked into class.
BAD GIRL!
Four girls, Shanti, Dharini, Khushi and Anita, are sitting at the back.
I walk to my bench, my eyes on them all the time. I sit, slowly keeping my bag on the bench and sliding into my place. I lean against the wall and turn.
Pari’s a BAD girl! Pari’s a BAD girl! Pari’s a BAD girl!
I wanted to say, I didn’t want to hurt Vishakha, but my mouth wouldn’t open only.
My heart fell in my stomach. I placed my arms on the desk and put my head down
Everyone is saying I’m bad now. First Simon, now everyone.
I want to go home. I know the way. I’ll take my bag and water bottle and… I lifted my head to…
Grrchh! Someone was moving the bench and suddenly, THWACK!
AAH!
Someone hit me on the back of my head and the front of my head banged on the table. It hurt so badly. I scrambled to look up, it was Khushi.
Then Anita said, Haww, you hurt her head! Haww…
I wanted to cry.
But I didn’t want anyone to see because then it means I’m a cry baby. With one hand I touched my head, it hurt. So badly.
Khushi: She has to know na? How else will she know?
Anita: Haww, but you can’t do like that…
She moved back, shaking her head, Khushi slid into the next row and kept shouting, She has to LEARN!
I turned away, holding my forehead, blinking back tears that were rushing to my eyes
My bench shook
Dharini and Shanti were near me. Dharini was on my bench, sitting like we sit on horse. Shanti sat on the bench in front of mine.
Dharini: Why did you drop Vishakha down?
Tears started falling, I didn’t want to… I… I wanted to stop but my legs didn’t stop
Dharini: Really? Say Mother Promise
I nodded. Mother Promise
Dharini: You didn’t want to hurt her?
No, I shook my head.
Dharini and Shanti looked at each other and told me: Everyone is calling you a bad girl. No one wants to be your friend.
But I did Mother Promise, no?
Dharini and Shanti shrugged, they got up and went to the back. I turned to see, they were talking to each other, pointing to me. I’m good, na?
Other students had started coming into class. I looked at them. They saw me and were acting like I wasn’t there.
Vishakha walked in. I wanted to call out and say, Vishakha, I’m sorry.
But she looked at me and looked away. I don’t know why my mouth wasn’t opening only. All stuck inside. I wiped the tears off my face.
Then Namrata and Shivani came. They share my bench. They didn’t sit, they just stood, keeping their bags on the back
Namrata: We won’t sit near you, you know? Vishakha’s mother came, she cried, she said you’re bad.
Shivani: Yeaa, we don’t want you here. You go away
Then I also became angry. What is this? Everyone is being bad with me! Then they are bad na?
So I said, This is not your school, you can’t tell me to go. If you want to go, you go. I don’t care
Namrata: Haww, she said I don’t care
Shivani: I told you, she’s not a good girl, always back answers
Namrata: We’ll tell Miss to make her go
Shivani: Yaa, we’ll do that, who wants to sit with her?
Okay, if Miss says to go, then, I’ll go!
The bell rang. It was time to go to the hall for assembly.
No one likes me, no one’s talking to me
I put my head on the table
And cried.
So, the world of children is filled with wonder and fun, huh?
We miss the stresses of school and classroom, of too many children packed into a class, sharing space, taunting and bullying, all from different backgrounds
Families that display their own sense of justice in front of the kids, kids who act out what they see at home and flourish what they’ve learnt
My book of short stories, The Violent Potter, is available on Amazon. The book is intended for an audience of parents, teachers and grandparents of young children
Link: http://tinyurl.com/466tvf5f
Each story highlights the gap between adult expectations and child perspective. The book is in two parts, Part 1 sees the impact of the gap while Part 2 sees what happens when someone fills the gap with loving perspective.
My vlog is updated every Friday: https://www.youtube.com/@violentpotter/videos